Effervescing Sycophants

This post will tell you everything you need to know about CNN's "journalistic objectivity". Next time somebody starts whining about Fox News, or any other mainstream media outlet, having a conservative bias (tip: "right-wing rag" is how folks who don't like to think describe any publication more sensible than High Times), I hope you'll remember this, and point and laugh at them.

I watched CNN for twenty minutes or so (about as much as I can stand in a single sitting) earlier tonight. They were still hyperventilating with excitement over a debate between the remaining Democratic presidential candidates that took place, what, last night? Last week? Ah, who cares?

John McCain (of whom I'm no great fan either) was mentioned only briefly. They had Tom Daschle, a former bigwig in the Democratic party, on so that he could tell Wolf Blitzer what a putz McCain is, and how McCain isn't fit to tie Barack Obama's shoes. Daschle was helpfully billed onscreen during this as "Obama Supporter."

Then, Blitzer said something that made me simultaneously laugh out loud and reach for the remote to change the channel to something (anything) else. I don't remember his exact words, so the quotation marks below are a stretch, but this is the very close gist:

"Coming up, in the interest of balance, we'll be talking to a Hillary Clinton supporter as well."

Ummm, CNN guys? I know it'll come as a shock to everyone there, but there are two major political parties in the United States. Balance would not be running free puff-piece campaign ads (or as you call them, "hard-hitting breaking news stories") for two candidates from the same party. Especially when those candidates are essentially identical aside from genitalia and melanin level.

Real balance would mean occasionally taking a break from polishing apples for whatever wingnut socialist empty suit the Democrats have managed to prop up in front of a microphone. (Feel free to interpret "polishing apples" as a euphemism. Now whatever unpleasant imagery you conjure up is your problem, not mine.)


Enough rambling. Here's a picture of some concrete. If you look closely, you may see Jimmy Hoffa.