Saturday, May 3, 2008

Like Riding A Bike

If posting gets a bit light over the next few days, it's because a more fun use of my time has presented itself. My wife has finally agreed to do something that she hadn't done for me in a very long time.

Back before we were married she would do it all the time, with enthusiasm. Pretty much anytime I so much as suggested it, she was ready to go. She kept up the pace for quite a while after our wedding day, but it gradually tapered off. Down to once a week, then once a month, then... well, I honestly can't remember the last time before today. And it was certainly never her idea after those early days; she only occasionally halfheartedly agreed, when I asked her to participate.

I can't really blame her. Although she never came out and said so, I knew in my heart that she was just going through the motions for my benefit. I can't deny that, in general, it appeals more to men than to women. I think that a lot of women find it unsatisfying, undignified, and frankly a little demeaning.

She really seemed to enjoy it back in those earlier days, but if she grew tired of it, then I wouldn't want her doing it just for my sake. It's not nearly as enjoyable for either of us that way. While the idea of going out looking for someone else to do it tempted me from time to time, I never went through with it.

She recently offered, out of the blue, to give it another try. I was very pleased, and while she was a little out of practice at first, she's getting the hang of it again quickly. I'm sure that in no time she'll be as good at it as ever.

So, if I don't get much written over the next few evenings, it's because my dear wife has offered me a more enjoyable recreational activity for after the offspring are safely and soundly asleep.

We'll be sitting at the kitchen table playing Magic: The Gathering, which my wife hadn't wanted to play in quite a long time. She came along today and watched me teaching our son the basics of the game, helped him a little, and wound up interested in playing it again for the first time in several years.

What? What did you think I was talking about?

Enough rambling. Here's a picture of my now-dead dog. This one was taken in 2005.


HomeSchooler said...

You asked: "What? What did you think I was talking about?" And I couldn't resist answering...

shaving her legs

Think about it... it works!

or - waxing... brow plucking... pretty any other time-consuming female beautification process that involved pain, twisting yourself into strange positions, and a high probability of post-beautification skin irritation...

Zirbert said...

Shaving her legs? Is that a real thing that some women do?

HomeSchooler said...

Yes, some women do... at least in the summer time!

In all honesty, I know one fellow, a self-proclaimed "legs man" who would have gladly added leg-shaving into the wedding vows, if he had been allowed to by his bride and his minister! Just imagine!

"With this ring, I thee wed; with my body, I thee cherish, provided thou dost shave thy legs at least every second day; and with all my worldly goods I thee endow."

Actually, it does have a rather romantic ring to it, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone, Mrs. Zirbert here. I just wanted to take this opportunity to explain why I've been so neglectful about playing Magic: The Gathering with my dear hubbie.
You see I really tried to get into it with him but I just found that there were too many rules to keep track of. "Where does this go?", " What does this do?", " Oh, I can't haul this out yet." I spent so much time wondering if I was doing it right that I couldn't really enjoy myself. I pretended to for his sake but a girl can only keep that up for so long. And I was too shy to say anything because I didn't want him to think he wasn't teaching me properly.
So then I thought that maybe if I watched other people doing it that I might pick it up faster. But that only made me feel even more inept. They were so much better than me and they were doing things that I wouldn't dream of doing. Things I hadn't even heard of.
Then I decided to try it with someone who was just as inexperienced as I was. We muddled through it a few times but quickly realized that we didn't have a clue what we were doing. And I didn't want to make my technique worse than it already was so I gave up on that also. Maybe if I could have gotten some of my girlfriends to try it with me, I would have been more comfortable. There's nothing as unnerving for a girl as having a bunch of sweaty guys staring at you when you're trying to do something like this. But, alas, none of my girlfriends were intersted. Zirbie was right, this really is more of a guy thing.
Since than several years have passed. Zirbert and I managed to find other hobbies that we could enjoy together. Some things we tried and found they didn't work for us. Other things have been a source of a great deal of enjoyment. But still, I knew he always wanted to try this again. So when he started talking about getting a group together to do it, I decided to give it a go again. Besides, I have a lot more confidence about this sort of thing these days. And what do you know, I love it. I have found a kind of enthusiasm I didn't even know I had. We have done it every night so far this week sometimes even 'till the wee hours of the morning. As soon as the offspring are asleep, I am eagerly asking him if he wants to. And if the offspring happen to be at the grandparents for the night that means we can get started even earlier. I don't know why I couldn't get into it sooner but now I can't get enough. In fact I recommend it to any ladies out there if it is something that your husbands like to do. Maybe we can get together for doubles sometime. It really is a lot of fun.
There, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Oh and for the record, I do shave my legs. About as often as Zirbert shaves.

HomeSchooler said...


Mrs. Zirbert - you crack me up! Almost as much as Mr. Zirbert, and (as you well know) that's saying something!

And if you shave your legs as frequently as Zirbert shaves his face... well... since I don't think he's ever had a beard, I commend your diligence!

If I tried to keep up with my husband... Well, I couldn't! And in the winter I don't even try (to keep up that is... I still try to shave my legs... occasionally!!!)

Is it totally weird that the husband is more fastidious with regards to hygiene and personal appearance than the wife? I remember my shock when, upon first being married, I discovered that he expected his jeans to be washed after every wearing!!!

He was puzzled, but willing to accept that I only bathed/showered every other day, though he was surprised that I could survive such filth. I won't go into details regarding his opinion of my personal hygiene habits when hunting or camping!

Zirbert, I don't know if my husband has played/enjoyed Magic: The Gathering in the past, though I'm sure you could tell me, but I'd be willing to get together for doubles sometime. Considering how you two talk about it, it really sounds exciting!

Zirbert said...

Homeschooler said:

And if you shave your legs as frequently as Zirbert shaves his face... well... since I don't think he's ever had a beard, I commend your diligence!
[end quote]

I've never had a beard, but that's only becuase I can't grow a decent one. I'm really lazy about shaving. Twice a week, tops, and I sometimes go up to ten days or so without bothering.

You can't really call what happens in those longer gaps a "beard" per se. It looks more like some small, scruffy roadkill managed to crawl onto the lower half of my face before expiring. Which is not to say that it isn't still an improvement for my appearance.

Back to Homeschooler-quoting:

Zirbert, I don't know if my husband has played/enjoyed Magic: The Gathering in the past, though I'm sure you could tell me,
[end quote]

Yes, I can, and yes, he has. Played, at least - I'm not so sure about enjoyed. He stopped rather abruptly. Back in our university days we had a group of people who got together and played regularly, and one day he just quit showing up.

I suspect he, like my wife back in the day, may have been humouring me.

But, yeah, Magic scales well to multiplayer, and I have plenty of decks for everybody!


RebelAngel said...


I never wanted to be in Canada so much!

OK, I feel comfortable saying this to the Zombie emthusiast, but not so much the preacher's wife (homeschooler, don't read this)

THRULLS all the way! Toiss in all the variations you can, Mindstab, Armor, etc. Get a Breeding Pit, a couple of Bad Moons...

I was just sort of lukewarm to my husband's obsession (back in college when we were just friends) until he showed me how to be a master of all that is evil and grotesque! Muhahahaha!!!

Or, I also like a Red Deck. Blast it apart! The first Magic game I ever played was against DH (a tournament winner) and he played a nasty (but slow) deck and gave me his direct damage Red deck.
I can still remember sitting there reading the small print on the FireBall, "Tap X manna to do X damage..." Does mean what I think it means? Yes. Well, then...DIE SUCKER! I win! We were married less than 6 months later.

(Oh, and he has been teaching our 10 year old daughter to play. Logical thinking, problem solving, strategy, and a little math tossed in...what better homeschool tool?) (There is one, but I won't go into that.)

HomeSchooler said...

"OK, I feel comfortable saying this to the Zombie emthusiast, but not so much the preacher's wife (homeschooler, don't read this)"

I actually did read it... but I didn't understand most of it, so maybe that's alright!? Besides, knowing and loving Zirbert, despite his strange foibles, I'm sure that nothing you could do or say could ever shock me! :-)

"Logical thinking, problem solving, strategy, and a little math tossed in...what better homeschool tool? There is one, but I won't go into that."

Again, I have no clue what you're talking about... but your wording makes me very curious!!!

Zirbert said...

Homeschooler - RebelAngel is referring to the fact the Magic: The Gathering, as its name implies, is based in a sword-and-sorcery type fantasy world. The game mechanics include "casting spells" - one of the main card types is "Sorcery".

Some Christians are made uncomfortable by this. I've seen people refuse to play the game due to religious convictions. I can understand and respect that, but obviously don't take the same position myself.

As I think you can attest, I take my faith pretty seriously, but I'm not bothered by what mechanics or theme a game uses. If you really look at them, Monopoly is about driving others to bankruptcy through ruthless capitalism, and Chess is nothing but a war simulation. I wouldn't want to do anything like either of those in real life, but I don't mind playing the games.

RebelAngel is clearly concerned that as a pastor and pastor's wife, you may come to a different personal conclusion on the matter.

Stripping away the fantasy trappings, Magic is about math, logic, and probability. It was invented by a PhD in mathematics. Part of the genius of the game is that many people pay it for years without realizing that it's just numbers underneath. I love it when people learn without realizing it!