Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Fight The Real Enemy

Not so long ago, somebody in the Canadian customs bureaucracy thought that the Khadr family would be just spiffy additions to this once-great but rapidly-faltering nation.

Over half of the known gang members in Ottawa were born outside of Canada, meaning that some presumably sharp-eyed immigration officials must have been a little sleepy. Several hundred times.

However, it's comforting to know that the good people at Border Services are pulling out all the stops to protect us from the greatest threat to our national security: Decepticons!

A recent Canadian International Trade Tribunal ruling has paved the way for a contentious Transformers action toy to be imported into Canada.

In November, the tribunal was asked to review a Canada Border Services Agency decision not to allow an action figure into the country, according to a tribunal ruling released last week.

At issue was an "MP-5 Destron Leader Megatron" plastic action figure, which the border agency classified as a prohibited device.

The toy can be transformed from a model robot into a purported replica of a Walther model P-38 semi-automatic pistol. Under Canadian customs tariffs, replica firearms cannot be brought into the country.

The border agency hired an RCMP firearms expert to prepare a report, which found the toy gun was in fact about 30-per-cent larger and contained "added elements" when compared to the actual Walther P-38 pistol.
The RCMP firearms expert might have also pointed out that real Walther P38s very rarely shapeshift into robots.

You may wonder why it took this collection of Keystone Kustoms Agents 10 months to figure out that Megatron isn't really very dangerous, what with being a fictional character and all. That would be the pessimistic view, though. Personally, I'm glad they're being extra careful. It's one thing to give free passes to terrorists and gangbangers, but if we start letting Decepticons slip through the gates, they may steal our Energon reserves!

Enough rambling. Here's a picture of somebody taking a picture, of somebody trying to take a picture of themselves in a mirror, in a mirror. (This description is brought to you by Everything I Remember About Nested Loops From My Programming Classes.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This sums up my views:
Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister!
> Written by a housewife in New Brunswick , to her local newspaper. This
> is one ticked off lady.
> 'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not
> started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001
> and have continually threatened to do so since?
> Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day,
> in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from the nation's capitol and in
> a field in Pennsylvania ?
> Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible,
> burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?
> And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be
> tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting
> against in a brutal insurgency.
> I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents
> for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.
> I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start
> caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable
> by beheading in Afghanistan .
> I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking
> off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed
> throat.
> I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come
> out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by
> hiding in mosques.
> I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search
> of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide
> bombs.
> I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom
> of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on
> the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when
> something happens.
> In the meantime, when I hear a story about a CANADIAN soldier roughing
> up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:
> I don't care.
> When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not
> to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:
> I don't care.
> When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat,
> and 'fed special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining
> that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in
> your heart of hearts:
> I don't care.
> And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran'
> and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it,
> I don't care!!
> If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail
> friends Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this
> ridiculous behaviour!
> If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should
> you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities
> committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country!
> And may I add:
> 'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a
> difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'
> I have another quote that I would like to add, AND.......I hope you
> forward all this.
> One last thought for the day:
> Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
> 1. Jesus Christ
> 2. The Canadian Soldier.
> 3. The British Soldier.
> 4. The US Soldier, and
> 5. The Australian Soldier
> One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom.