Estimating Canine Time Of Death

This is Another Reason Why People Don't Talk To Me, but I think the above title is funnier.

This comes from a recent conversation I was involved in where we somehow got onto the topic of our dogs that had died. Pretty much everybody has at least a story or two about a dog they used to have, even if it was when they were a child, which is no longer around.

I have a few such stories, at least one of which I eventually intend to tell in some detail here. I'll skip right to the point of this entry, though.


Me: "We came home from church one day and the dog was dead on the floor. She must have died right after we left, because she was already cool."

Them: (Raised eyebrow)

Me: "What? It's not like I checked her internal temperature."

Them: (Eyebrow moving a bit higher)

Me (realizing I could have fun with this, which I generally interpret as a mandate): "Although I suppose I could have. The equipment is right there in pretty much every kitchen. You just need one of those thermometers you use to see if the turkey's done."

Them: (Eyebrow now well on its way to the back of their head)

Me: "If the needle doesn't move, that dog's been dead for a while."

Them: (Walking away, uttering vow to avoid me in the future)


Enough rambling. Here's a picture of the Winnie The Pooh starring vehicle Does It Float (closeup detail of front cover, number 1 in a series).